Yes, They Really Should Have, Shouldn't They?

"I can't believe they did what they did. Someone should have checked everything they needed was there before they got my mum into theatre.

"I just hope we don't experience anything like it again."

So much for the NHS being the wonder of the world...

Adam Brooks, clinical director for specialist support, which covers operating theatres at NUH, said: "We're sorry that Mrs Taylor's operation was delayed on 1 December.

"The specialist equipment (metal plates and screws) needed for her surgery had not returned from being sterilised – which is vital for the safety of such a procedure. We apologised to Mrs Taylor at the time and were able to reschedule her operation for the following week.

"All of our theatres equipment at NUH goes through a thorough checking process to ensure everything is of the highest quality and within sterilisation dates."

Look, Adam, no-one's suggesting that it doesn't, or that it should be any different. What they do expect is that your surgical staff should ensure they have everything they need to hand before they start searching for a place to stick the epidural.

It's only common sense, after all. Haven't your staff ever put together anything bought from MFI or IKEA?

Are The Words ‘No, Love, It’s Supposed To Look Like That’ So Hard Then..?

GPs should not refer women who are well but worried for female genital cosmetic surgery on the NHS, say experts.

Well, duh!

Specialists at a Central London teaching hospital say they received 30 such referrals, mainly from family doctors, over the past three years.

This included eight schoolgirls - one as young as 11 - the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology reports.

Experts say doctors need clear guidance on how best to care for women who mistakenly believe they need surgery.

Sorry, why? Don’t they do five years at medical school? How hard can it be?

The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons says medics need to determine whether a problem exists or whether an alternative solution may be preferable, but offers no advice on how to judge the problem, say the researchers from University College London's Women's Health Institute.

If it’s not an actual clinical problem, what sort of advice should you need?

They say it may be simpler to ban the procedure in the NHS altogether, leaving it to private practices.

Well, I’m all for this on cost grounds, actually, but then what about those who do have a real, clinical problem? Where do they go?

I mean, good grief, why is it so bloody hard for supposed ‘professionals’ to just do the damned job they are paid for?

Dr Sarah Creighton and colleagues believe the future demand for so-called "designer vagina" operations or labial reductions is potentially infinite and is driven by society's wider and growing desire for cosmetic surgery in general and changing expectations about what is a desirable appearance for women.

Yes, you can certainly blame the media and women’s magazines and fads started by the permatanned chavs of Essex and Cheshire for the desire for such surgery.

But you can’t blame the GPs’ reluctance to address those issues with their patients, and to send them for unnecessary and costly surgery on the NHS, on that.

Can you?

"Show us yer dirty knickers, love!"

For the last few years, she has counted on the health service to afford her dignity and security in her old age.

But now a blind 77-year-old widow has been left feeling dehumanised and humiliated by those who were supposed to be looking after her.

Edith Braddow, who was prescribed incontinence pads by a local clinic after being referred by her GP, says she was told to bring in three soiled pads if she wanted to continue to receive them.

This doesn't even make sense. It's not like she couldn't fake it if she wanted to, is it?

And just what do they think she's doing with them if she doesn't need them? Is there a black market in incontinence pads?

Even worse is the fact that she and her son meekly complied with this request:

'I was incensed, but we put three pads in a carrier bag.

When we got there the nurses actually weighed each pad in front of us and referred to some kind of scale...'.

And believe it or not, the health authority actually defended this:

A spokesman for Nottinghamshire Community Health insisted that testing incontinence pads for absorbency was standard practice.

‘A review of the continence service took place during 2010 and changes have been made to ensure patients receive optimum care,’ she said. ‘The aim of the service is always to return patients to continence wherever possible. Pads are only prescribed for those patients with moderate to severe incontinence.

‘All patients are offered a comprehensive clinical assessment, which includes reviewing existing pads to ensure adequate absorbency and comfort to the patient, as defined by National Good Practice, followed by a clear treatment plan.’

I don't know which I'd prefer to believe - that they are so dehumanised themselves that they believe that this is acceptable behaviour, or that they are just secret perverts who are turned on by soiled underwear.

If the latter, I suggest they go to Japan, where such tastes are catered for with vending machines...

Well, I Can't See THIS Going Wrong, Can You..?

An NHS efficiency drive may result in hospital appointments being outsourced to call centres in India.

Not when it's worked so well and proven so stunningly popular with customers in all other industries!

I mean, it's not as if anything bad has ever happened befo...

Oh:

The proposal comes despite a scandal two years ago when the confidential medical records of patients at one of London’s top private hospitals were sold on by Indian IT staff.

/facepalm

Pass The Parcel With Real Lives…

A dying teenager was "lost" for an hour in an NHS hospital after a bed manager asked nursing staff to move her to an inappropriate ward, an inquest heard today.

Doctors caring for 17-year-old Clementine Nicholson were "astonished" that she had been taken from a resuscitation unit without their consent, Coventry Coroner's Court heard.

And how did this happen?

Computer said ‘Yes’, innit?

Dr Mair Edmunds, associate director for clinical performance at the hospital, expressed her regret that Clementine had been moved by an electronic bed management system.

Well, no.

She might have been incorrectly marked for movement by a computer system, but real live people – supposedly, professional NHS staff – would have done the actual moving.

I mean, surely they check that someone’s well enough to be moved before they…

Oh:

Dr Edmunds said the hospital now had a nurse controller to oversee such moves and that more robust procedures were now in place to ensure patients were well enough to be transferred.

Before, no one checked?

/facepalm

NWA*

Wearing hoodies and baseball caps, and festooned with 'bling' jewellery, they are doing their best to look like American rappers.

Sadly, the fact that they are middle-aged British nurses is all too apparent.

Well, it's crazy, sure, but what they get up to in their own time is no business of...

Oh:

This is how one health care trust has decided to spend public money - by producing an £1,800 rap video about how to clean your hands.

It is available to watch on NHS Milton Keynes Primary Care Trust's own channel on the YouTube website. It can also be bought in DVD form for £25.

Must be selling like hot cakes, I bet?

Yet in the month the DVD has been available, not a single copy has been sold.

Shocker...

* Nurses With Attitude

"Press One For St Peter..."

A cancer sufferer was told he could not book a hospital appointment - because records showed he was dead.

Alan Campbell rang a booking system phone line after becoming worried that the disease may have spread to his throat.

But when he tried to make an appointment with the NHS Choose and Book system, a telephone operator informed him their records showed him as 'deceased'.

Another case of ‘Computer says ‘No’..’, I suppose..?

'When I rang to take take the appointment I was told, 'Sorry, we can't give you an appointment, our records show you are deceased'.

'I said 'you're joking, I'm talking to you aren't I?' But they said 'you'll have to go back to your GP to get it sorted out'.'

So he did. Because we all know there’s not point in arguing with call centre staff, who are unable to deviate from their instructions.

Mr Campbell, who has also survived a stroke and a heart attack, contacted his doctor and was told the problem had been resolved - only to phone the Choose and Book system again to be told their records still showed he was dead.

D’oh!

NHS Blackburn with Darwen Teaching Care Trust Plus, in Lancashire, which is responsible for the phone service, has now apologised for the error.

Mr Campbell has been told he will contacted within 14 days to arrange an appointment with an oral and maxillofacial surgery specialist.

Within 14 days? How about NOW?

Janice Horrocks, executive director of Engagement Partnerships and Operational Development, said they were investigating the case, adding: 'We are sorry for the distress experienced by this patient.'

I love that ‘experienced by’… Nivcely swerved, Janice!

What she should have apologised for was the distress caused to Mr Campbell, of course.

And no statement from an NHS media flack would be complete without the obligatory the-system-does-work-honest! Statement:

'We would like to reassure patients that using the Choose and Book system, which allows you to choose the hospital, time and date of your appointment, remains the fastest route to getting the quickest and most convenient hospital appointment for the care that you need.'

Unless the NHS thinks you’re dead, that is.

False Economy

Narah Bate, 81, was recently diagnosed with a rare bone marrow cancer and given potentially life-prolonging drugs.

When she developed blisters in her throat and sores on her face, the professor treating her changed the prescription.

But that didn’t go down too well with NICE, who decided the new drugs were just too expensive.

But medicine rationing body the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) denied her the drug Imatinib saying it was too expensive and she would have to remain on hydroxycarbamide.

Still, it’s a harsh world, and we all have to make sacrifices, and this way the NHS saves money to…

Oh. Wait:

Audrey, 62, of Fleet, Hants, said: “The side-effects of this medication are so bad she had to stop taking it for a week to allow the blisters in her throat to heal. That meant a stay in hospital and a blood transfusion.

“Now she’s having a blood transfusion almost every week. That takes up a hospital bed, using staff time. They say that Imatinib is too expensive, but treating her this way must cost more.”

Indeed.

What’s that old saying about those who know the price of everything and the value of nothing?

Broken Hip? Take Two Aspirin And Don't Call Us In The Morning...

A woman was left in excruciating pain for over a month after the medical services repeatedly failed to detect she had a broken hip.

And by 'failed to detect' we should probably read 'repeatedly ignored request by patient that all this being unable to stand up and walk without pain was a bit odd, don't you think, doctor?'

Lynne Snow claims she dialled 999 after a fall at home, and was attended by a paramedic:

"I said I'd like an ambulance to take me to Whipps Cross but he said they wouldn't give me an X-ray as he didn't think I'd done anything."

Very strange. Usually, a 'better safe than sorry' policy applies, doesn't it?

Mrs Snow found days after the incident she still couldn't walk or sit down properly and decided to call her GP.

But the doctor told her he wouldn't send her for an X-ray until she had been checked over by a physiotherapist who eventually arrived after a two-week delay.

Mrs Snow said: “She came out and was quite rude to me. She said: 'You're walking like a robot. Do you usually walk like that?'. She said I hadn't broken anything. I said to her about an X-ray and she said no.”

So Mrs Snow sought that fabled second opinion:

With the pain growing ever worse by the day, and over a month after her initial fall, Mrs Snow was eventually referred by a separate GP to St Margaret's Hospital, in Epping, for an X-ray. The X-ray confirmed her hip was broken.

Ooopsie!

Still, now they've realised their mistake, I bet they're falling over themselves (pun intended) to put it right and spare any further embarrassment?

Ah, well...

Mrs Snow's painful experience was not quite over yet, however, as she was initially told she would have to wait a further month for an operation.

She has now finally had that operation after a friend drove her to Princess Alexandra Hospital's A&E herself.

And we wonder why the NHS pays out so much money in claims...

Patient 'found dead in hospital lavatory after three days'

From the Telegraph

The man, 22, allegedly suffocated himself in the cubicle, and was only discovered on Wednesday when a nurse asked a colleague to break open the door when she sensed something was wrong.

He was reported as missing on Saturday from Watford general Hospital's acute admissions unit.
According to The Sun he had been admitted as a voluntary patient, was not believed to have had serious mental health issues and had not been sectioned.

A statement from West Hertfordshire Hospitals NHS Trust said police had launched an investigation into the incident.

It said: "We are unable to provide more detail at this time due to patient confidentiality but can confirm that we are treating this extremely seriously.

"We are carrying out a thorough internal investigation surrounding the circumstances of this incident and when this is complete we will issue a further statement, if appropriate."

A police spokeswoman said there were no suspicious circumstances surrounding the death.

She said: "We were called to Watford General hospital at 5am, following the discovery of a man's body in a locked toilet cubicle.

"We have informed the coroner and are working with the hospital to establish the course of events around this incident.

"We have been in contact with his family and obviously our thoughts are with them at this difficult time."

I have to say this takes the biscuit. Were the toilets not inspected by the cleaners or the nurses? for three days? Sensed is wrong... he probably smelt bad after three days in hospital temperatures.

Nice Guidance Not

From the Times today

She is also among the one in five sufferers — mostly women — for whom the most common drug, alendronate, is not suitable, meaning that she is prescribed the more costly strontium ranelate. But under draft guidance from NICE, she said, “my doctor would be unable to prescribe an appropriate medication until I had fractured a bone and my bone density had got considerably worse.

“This seems like madness. It's going to cost the NHS a lot more than the treatment costs if people break their bones.”